ClickedyClack
by labgeekluvr
Summary: As Calleigh attends the funeral of Detective John Hagen, she remembers the events that led to his suicide. Months later, Hagen's past deeds still complicate her relationships.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Clickedy-Clack

Time: After 10-7

Rating: M

Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine, all are the property of the writers of CBS and CSI: Miami.

Calleigh stood beside Ryan at the grave side of Detective John Hagen as he was being laid to rest. She heard the words of the minister drifting away slowly as her mind replayed scenes from the past few months. Her mind drifted back to the day when Hagen returned to duty after being on IOD leave. She and the team were processing the crash of a small cargo plane, and Hagen was the detective assigned to the case. Calleigh had been surprised to see him after such a long absence, and she knew something still wasn't quite right between them.

Calleigh and John Hagen had a history, and it was a complicated one. They had dated, but he had insulted her father and she felt the need to move on. He had a harder time letting go. Ryan had seen the two talking that morning and came over to introduce himself. He picked up on the tension between the two as well and had asked Calleigh what that was all about. She just indicated that it was complicated. She mentioned that Hagen had been on IOD for a while, something about having a bad back. Ryan shared that through his experience on patrol, he knew that meant he likely had trouble passing his psych evaluation before coming back on duty. Calleigh knew he had been through some rough times, losing a partner and dealing with trying to get past his former partner's soiled reputation. Knowing that things may still not be well with Hagen unsettled Calleigh, and Ryan too.

Later during the case Calleigh was paid a visit by Special Agent Peter Elliot. Detective Hagen was present during their conversation and noted that it was flirtatious, more flirtatious that he would admit to liking. Hagen crossed a line when he asked if anything was going on between Calleigh and Agent Elliot, even going so far as to ask if they were sleeping together. Calleigh told Hagen firmly to let it go, but Hagen refused and grabbed her arm. Calleigh stared him down coldly until he relented, let her go, and walked away. Calleigh was shaken. She didn't want to bother Peter with this. She found Ryan in the lab working alone.

"Hey, Cal. Are you okay?" Ryan asked, concerned, noticing her shaken appearance. She shook her head .

"No, I just had a run-in with Detective Hagen," she started to explain.

"Over what? The case?" Ryan asked, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"No. Peter Elliot stopped by while John and I were talking. And John read more into my conversation with Peter than he should have and insinuated that Peter and I were seeing each other.."

"That's none of his business, Calleigh," Ryan said gravely.

"And I told him that. But then he grabbed my arm and said he didn't want to let go," Calleigh said tearfully.

"Let go? Let go of what, Calleigh?" Ryan asked, taking her hands.

"Me. John and I dated a while back, but not for very long. I needed to move on. Apparently he hasn't yet," Calleigh said.

Ryan hugged Calleigh protectively, pressing her head to his shoulder and letting her cry. "This worries me Cal, especially considering what you said about his being on IOD with the so-called 'bad back'." He took her hands again and looked into her eyes. "Promise me you'll be careful, okay?"

Calleigh nodded, and he hugged her once again until she finished crying. He felt her trembling, and it made him angry that someone had Calleigh that shaken up, when usually she was so strong.

Calleigh's mind then drifted to the time she worked on the warehouse party explosion case. She was at the crime scene, looking for the murder weapon, when she noticed a void in the dust on the floor. Suddenly she heard a clickedy-clack–someone had a gun pointed at her head. Delko would later help Calleigh determine the sound was made by a Ruger, a rare gun. Detective Hagen was working that case as well, and he had stopped by the ballistics lab to talk to Calleigh. He was depressed about his career, he felt he was a failure. She told him that she'd like to be his friend and suggested that they go for coffee. When she went into the other room to get her stuff, she heard the familiar clickedy-clack behind her, then a gunshot blast. It was Detective Hagen who had held the Ruger to her head, because she had discovered he had removed a piece of evidence from the scene, hoping to use it later to redeem himself. Now he had pointed it at his own head and pulled the trigger.

Calleigh was brought abruptly back to reality by the sound of riflemen preparing to fire a 21-gun salute. "Ready...aim...fire!" The first blast sent a jolt through Calleigh's body. Ryan felt her faltering and reached an arm around her to support her. "Ready...aim...fire!" Calleigh had tried to brace herself against Ryan's body, but her knees buckled. Ryan wrapped his arms around her, kneeling down to support her as she sank to the ground. "Ready...aim...fire!" Ryan wrapped his arms tightly around Calleigh as she burst into hysterical sobs.

Ryan held her and rocked her slowly as she sobbed and trembled. He looked up and saw the rest of the team looking over to see if Calleigh was okay. Ryan held up a hand, letting them know he would take care of her. The last thing Calleigh needed was a crowd around her. "Come with me, Cal," he whispered to her. He helped her up and walked her to the car they had arrived in together. He helped her into the passenger side, then climbed in the driver's side. He took her hand and said, "I'll take you home."

Ryan took Calleigh to her place, helped her out of the car and into the house. He led her over to the couch and they sat down together. "Can I get you anything, a cup of tea? It might make you feel a little better," Ryan asked. Calleigh shook her head. She took his hands in hers.

"It's all my fault, I should have been there for him," Calleigh said numbly.

Ryan kissed her hands. "There's nothing you could have done. You're trained in ballistics, not psychology or psychiatry. Besides, the man held a gun to your head. I'm just thankful the funeral we went to today wasn't yours."

"Ryan, that doesn't help," Calleigh said.

"I'm sorry, Cal. It's just that you shouldn't blame yourself for his problems. They had nothing to do with you, even though he tried to make it about you. And that was damn unfair."

"Ryan..."

"It was unfair. Why the ballistics lab? Why did he have to point a gun at your head? Why did he have to involve you?" Ryan asked, taking Calleigh's face in his hands.

"I don't know! I don't know..." Calleigh shouted, bursting into tears again. Ryan wrapped his arms around her and held her again.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, angel," Ryan whispered as he held her. He waited for her sobs to subside. "Calleigh, I don't want to pressure you, okay? But please reconsider about quitting ballistics. The lab won't be the same without our 'bullet girl'," Ryan said softly.

"I still intend to stay at the lab, I just need a break from ballistics for a while. Maybe Horatio can transfer me to trace temporarily. I just can't go back there after what happened.," Calleigh replied.

Ryan kissed her forehead. "I can't say I blame you. I just don't want you to let what happened cast a permanent shadow over what you love doing. That would be the most unfair thing of all," Ryan said.

"I just need some time," Calleigh whispered.

"Take all the time you need, angel," Ryan whispered.

He held her silently, wondering if Calleigh's words were meant for him as well. He got his answer when she leaned her head against his chest and pulled his arms tighter around herself. He smiled and softly kissed her on her forehead once again, then on the tip of her nose. She lifted her face to him and he kissed her lips softly. Calleigh wrapped her arms around Ryan's neck and kissed him passionately, wanting to lose herself in Ryan's embrace. Ryan hesitated briefly.

"Are you sure you want this? Your very vulnerable right now," Ryan whispered. Calleigh caressed Ryan's face, neck, and chest. She answered him not with words but with the passion in her eyes and lips. She wanted to forget the darkness of this terrible day, the dark shadow that had haunted her ever since Hagen had come back into her life. She wanted to purge John Hagen from her mind and fill her thoughts with only Ryan. She wanted to forget, and Ryan helped her.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Clickedy-Clack, Chapter Two

Time: Urban Hellraisers

Several months had passed since John Hagen's funeral, and Ryan's relationship with Calleigh hadn't turned out the way he had hoped. That was because she still harbored feelings for another man, Special Agent Peter Elliot.

Elliot showed up at CSI when the team was investigating a crime spree based on a video game. Ryan was playing the game at the lab, trying to figure out the perpetrators' next step, when Delko came in.

"Have you seen Peter Elliot?" Delko asked.

"Skinny guy with salt-and-pepper hair? Yeah he popped his head in here looking for QD," Ryan replied.

"So you send him to DNA?" Delko joked.

"Naturally," Ryan smiled. "He's just here to see Calleigh, anyway," Ryan mused.

Delko sensed the jealousy in Ryan's voice and couldn't help but smile. "Yeah, Elliot's had a thing for Calleigh for a while," he said.

That was the last thing Ryan needed to hear. Ryan discovered a sniper mode, which revealed that there had been a sniper present at the last crime scene, but contrary to the game the sniper hadn't fired. Delko left to investigate the presence of the sniper, leaving Ryan to continue playing the game. Ryan eventually discovered that the criminals' next move would be to attempt to retrieve the evidence from CSI, and he alerted Horatio. The armed suspects were stopped by Horatio just in time, saving Natalia's life and preventing the evidence from being stolen. Unfortunately, Peter Elliott was hurt trying to cover Calleigh from the ensuing gunfire.

Calleigh accompanied him to the hospital, where he received a couple stitches. While there she encountered Monica West, Peter's fiancee'. Monica thanked Calleigh for bringing Peter to the hospital. Calleigh left the couple at the hospital, livid at herself for trusting him and at him for not telling her that he was engaged. Later, he would have told her over drinks that evening. He also told her that he had feeling for her, but that John Hagen had told him to back off, saying that he and Calleigh were dating. Calleigh couldn't believe her ears, or that Peter would just let Hagen intimidate him so easily.

Calleigh went to the break room to fix herself a cup of tea and encountered Ryan.

"Glad to see you're okay, after the shootout downstairs," Ryan said cheerfully.

"More or less," Calleigh responded flatly.

"Peter okay? I saw you two talking earlier," Ryan asked.

"Oh, he's just fine. Just fine," Calleigh said sarcastically.

"You don't sound fine. Did you two have a fight or something?" Ryan asked

Calleigh paused for a moment. "He asked me out for drinks..."

"Well that's nice," Ryan said.

"Then I find out at the hospital that he's engaged," Calleigh continued.

"Ouch. Calleigh I'm sorry," Ryan said, touching her shoulder. She smiled at his gesture. "Man, this is a surprise. I thought he really liked you," he said.

"He did, however, John Hagen managed to scare him off," Calleigh said angrily, throwing her tea bag into the garbage roughly and walking briskly over to the table. She sat down and held her forehead in her hand, her elbow propped on the table.

"John Hagen? But he's been dead for months now," Ryan said, coming over to sit by Calleigh.

"Long enough for Peter to move on and find someone else," Calleigh said, trying to hold back tears.

"With plenty of time to be a man about it and tell you," Ryan said, dismayed.

"Ironically, that's why he asked me out for drinks, that was going to be his way of telling me," Calleigh said, trying to smile.

"Smooth," Ryan said softly. Ryan reached for her hand. "I'm really sorry."

"I feel like such a fool," Calleigh said tearfully.

"Calleigh, the guy gave you no indication that he was taken. He flirted with you every time he showed up. He fooled me. Don't beat up on yourself," Ryan said gently.

"If I had only known, I wouldn't have wasted my time. I could have been..." Calleigh started.

"Calleigh, it just wasn't the right time for us. Hagen had just died. Granted we spent the night together, but I understood then it wasn't the right time for us," Ryan said softly.

"It could have been," Calleigh whispered, "if I hadn't been so blind to what was right there in front of me," Calleigh said, touching Ryan's cheek.

"It's not too late, you know. We could pick up where we left off," Ryan suggested, smiling and kissing the palm of her hand.

"Really? I mean, you'd like to give us another try?" Calleigh asked, hardly believing her ears.

"I've been hoping and praying for another chance," Ryan said tenderly. "Since your dinner date fell through, may I take you out for dinner tonight?"

Calleigh smiled. "I'd love that," she said. Ryan stood up, and pulled Calleigh up into a warm embrace. She remembered the last time she was in his arms, how his embrace had made her forget about John Hagen. She knew now that, safe in Ryan's arms, that Peter and his hurtful ways would soon become a distant memory as well.


End file.
